And when she was good, she was very, very good...

Yes, I have a little girl that has a little curl, but not right in the middle of her forehead. (Hers are in the back these days) Lately she's been displaying her "horrid" side, which isn't really so terrible, but it's drastically different from her very, very good side. On the bad days, she lays at my feet and screams at the top her lungs if I put her down. And if I leave the room? Oh you don't even want to go there! She also smacks anyone that gets close to her and kicks me while I change her diaper. Sounds like an angel, huh? This had been going on for awhile on most days and was getting pretty old. Sure, she got that cold that we all had, followed by the stomach bug that we all had and yeah, she was probably getting new teeth, and I know, it's been a rainy week cooped up inside, but hey- enough is enough.

And then today I noticed that she wasn't getting just one new tooth, but I could feel that all 4 of her molars had barely come through (never mind that elusive 4th front tooth on the bottom that is just waiting in the wings, though its "partner" showed up months ago) and suddenly she was very, very good again. And let me tell you, there isn't a sweeter baby on earth than my Julia when she's having a good day. She just wanders the house and plays and comes to give me hugs and kisses and laughs and loves everyone.

Just to further my point, on the tough days, I'm looking at the clock thinking, "It's gotta be nap time/bed time," just reaching for some excuse for the crankiness. Today, it was 2:15 when I realized we were an hour past normal nap time and then I almost hated to put her to bed tonight, even 30 minutes late.

So what else is up with our little angel? She's talking in full sentences now! For example, she says, "See nigh? See bay?" and "Wheh suh gull?" and "Theh suh bah". (Which clearly means, "See my night-night? See my baby?" and "Where's the girl?" and "There's the ball.")

Okay, not quite full sentences, but she's picking up more and more language all the time now. Her list of "Julia's words" has even expired. (I'm slightly obsessed with doing everything the same for each child and recording many, many specifics about their lives, so I keep a list of their first words, pretty much till they start coming out with new ones every day.)

So is Julia our most verbal child yet? I'll give you till the end of the post to guess who has been the biggest communicator.

It has definitely been a challenge to keep up with taking movies of our 3rd child. With Joshua, that was my source of entertainment when things were "slow" and with Gray, I was trying to send Matt a gazillion movies so he could see what was going on with us while he was in Iraq, but with Julia it's different. For example, I try explaining to the boys that I took loads of movies of them when they were babies, like what we watch on the home movies on tv, and it's Julia's turn. They say they understand and then I hit record and Joshua sticks every stuffed animal he knows in front of the camera and Gray just won't shut up:) Tonight I did get a few movies in after sticking Gray in another room with the door closed when he tried to monopolize the camera on the first four tries. I'll try to post later.

Right now, gotta get back to this special "Flash Mob Proposal" show. I didn't even know what a flash mob was, but guess it's the thing now. Anyway, have a good night!

Oh yeah- It's Gray! Our spacey boy really was talking in full sentences as a barely one year old. He still has his cute babyish voice at 4 years old, but he was wowing us with his vocabulary back then!

Happy Birthday to Gray!

Yesterday was Gray's official birthday, though we'd already celebrated Saturday. That is still a little confusing for him and he was wondering when everyone would get here for his party...again. Thankfully we just had kind of a quiet day at home, aside from a few screaming fits here and there from each of the kids. Gray got to pick a movie to watch (Rack, Shack, and Benny Veggietales), we played his new Ladybug game and read some books, he and Joshua played with his new "Joker Funhouse" toy that we gave him that morning, and then we had a lunch picked out by Gray (peanut butter and banana sandwiches).

Matt came home sick from work and I headed to the store to get Gray a balloon.

Looking up at his balloon. Why do kids love these so much?

More happiness.

And more happiness. Doesn't he look so old?

Later he opened another present from us...Batman sunglasses!

(And check out that Aslan tshirt that came in the mail that day from Mimi! Perfect timing!)

And the last present was a kickball set...the one that was supposed to be for Christmas that was left at home:)

Check out the concentration...a.k.a. tongue hanging out!

He's coming in to home plate..but will he make it???

Pogo tries to get in on the action.

It was nice to be outside to end the day, despite the fact that Julia had just thrown up, Joshua had a perpetual pout most of the day (we think due to jealously), and Gray threw a scream-at-the-top-of-his-lungs fit to end the game because he didn't like the way we were playing. That's just life with kids, though, and I still felt thankful to have my three rascals and particularly to have had four years with Gray.

Party!

Birthday boys!

Gray, a little confused about how to show his muscles.

Fun homemade superhero masks!

Randy looking super tough in his little girl's sticker mask:) Sorry about the bad lighting.

Sweet girl with her Daddy.

Very proud of her mask!

Cute Cousins!!

Superman twins...think Gray's "belt" was down around his knees.

Love this picture of the kids before our "find the hidden Superheroes" game.

Cake time!

Well, despite Joshua's stomach complaints, which turned into ear complaints again, we decided to go ahead with the party. Still don't really know what's up with Joshua. He played through most of the party but wasn't feeling well again at bedtime. Really hope we didn't infect you with anything, party guests! Thank you all for coming and for the gifts...and we forgot to give the treat bags to the kids, so we'll have to get those to you soon, Kim!

I think that the party went well. I sure got some cute pictures. Gray seemed happy as a lark and I think Matt had fun too, though Joshua wasn't himself and Julia pitched the worst fit of her life right in the midst of cake and ice cream. Guess you can't have it all!

Weekend so far...

(First, Happy Birthday to Matt! He is 32 today!)

So last night I decided to go ahead and start the birthday cake. I'm so glad I did because it took forever! It may not look like the most complicated thing, but I've never spent so long on a cake! And part of the time was me just standing in the kitchen, staring at it wondering what the heck I was doing!

See, I had this master plan to make a four layer superhero cake, with each layer a different color coordinating with the superhero emblem. I soon realized that getting four thick square layers that gradually increased in size was going to be a challenge all in itself, considering I only had one size of square pan. I did a lot of guesstimating, most of which turned out way off the mark, and ended up having to piece it all together and creating some sort of leaning tower of birthday cake that was only 3 layers, one of which was not thick at all.

This is when the staring began. I finally restructured my plan, rearranged my color scheme and at way past my bedtime, it all came together. And no one was sick. We were ready to party.

And then there was this morning.

Soon after breakfast, Joshua declared that his stomach hurt. While he continued to play off and on much of the day, around lunchtime, he laid on the couch and decided he'd rather nap than go to his soccer game. We weren't (and still aren't) sure if this "sickness" was more about being nervous about the game and/or not wanting to be the last one to take a turn on the field, as opposed to real sickness, so again, we wait.

I have everything ready for the party tonight and I so want it happen, particularly after the aforementioned hours of working on the cake, but from prior experience I've learned that what I want and what ends up happening are often too different things! Stay tuned for the finale of this drama:)

The Waiting Game

I feel like waiting has characterized our lives a lot lately.

There's the waiting for our house to sell and not knowing when it will sell, what we need to do to sell it, how much longer this place will be home.

There's the waiting to find a new place to live, not knowing when the lot we had in mind will be free to build on or where we may end up if the timing doesn't work.

There's the waiting to see where the gym will be located this summer, not knowing how much the gym will grow or if expansion will bring growth.

There's the waiting to see if we can make it with just the gym to support us, again not knowing how and when the gym will bring the growth we need or when we can cut our expenses by selling the house.

Though this was pretty normal in the army, it's still strange to think that at any moment, our future can change and that it's very likely that some of the major things in our lives will look totally different in 6 months, even though we can't say how right now. It's also funny to think that even though you who are reading this may say that you know where you'll be in 6 months, in reality no one really knows what tomorrow will bring. Though we are very aware right now how uncertain our future is, isn't everyone's?

And that's how we grow in trust. Because God knows. He is not surprised by anything that happens to us. It's when I see that we can't do things--like sell our house or bring people to the gym or create a perfect lot at a perfect price in a perfect location or cause a building owner to give us a good deal on rent for the gym--that I am most aware that I am not in control. That's when I most feel God's power and my need to trust in his goodness and his love. So I may not know a lot of big things right now and I may feel a little in limbo, but I feel like God's got this.....and that's a pretty good place to be.

And then there's the waiting game I'm playing just this week. We're planning a family party for Matt and Gray tomorrow but surprise, surprise (actually not so much): Gray was throwing up earlier this week. So, while I want to be in my typical event preparation mode (ie: getting as much done as I can ahead of time so that I don't run around on Saturday like a chicken with its head cut off), I am instead in waiting-to-see-if-anyone-else-throws-up mode, which is slightly unnerving because the cake Gray has picked out may be my most complicated one yet and it's all I can do to hold myself back from the kitchen! But we wait... Patience is a virtue, right?

To Homeschool or Not To Homeschool

That is definitely been a question on our minds lately. Actually, I decided about 6 or 7 years ago (yes, I realize my oldest child is only 5!) that I would homeschool my kids, but ever since then, I have wavered more and more. Now that it's time to make the decision, I've been more confused than ever, but I *think* we've got a plan.

So what has been my problem with figuring out what to do? I think I could write about that all day! For example, if we homeschool, I can get our lessons done in just a few hours and then the boys can have the rest of the day to just play and be boys. But if they go to public school (by the way, private school is out of the question for us, so that does narrow things down a little), they have a lot more kids to play with. But if we homeschool, they will probably form a closer bond with each other. But if we do public school, they will have more opportunities to live life outside our little family. But if we homeschool, we can do other activities and meet other kids. And if we homeschool, they won't be exposed to things that they seem too young to deal with, like bullies or just a lot of stuff that we don't think is appropriate for children but is commonplace in the world these days. But if we do public school, instead of sheltering our kids from real life problems, we'll have opportunities to walk through them together. And the list of "buts" can go on and on.

One of the major things I keep coming back to is my role as a mother. On the one hand, I just want to be with my kids and I feel like sending them away to spend their days with a stranger is both sad and unnecessary, considering the stuff they will learn at this age is so easy for me to teach them. And when will I teach them the stuff they won't learn in school...the stuff about life and who God made them to be and what Jesus did for them? I feel like if they go to school, most of my time with them will be doing homework, dinner, baths, and bed. But on the other hand, should I be so possessive over my children, thinking that they're mine and I don't want to share them? And would being in "the real world" offer more realistic and relevant conversations when we are together...like how to deal with stuff they are actually experiencing and/or seeing other kids go through?

I also think about what my boys are like and what they need. They are both pretty shy in groups, though Joshua's leadership qualities come out when he's in a group of kids that he knows really well. Gray's more easygoing, yet he is usually a follower or loner--even in a group that he's comfortable with. (though he is surprising me at soccer practice sometimes) So I have worried that if they go off to school, they will soon fall in just following whoever is the leader of the class, which I have found in the few classrooms I've been in, is not always someone you want your kids to follow. I've thought that there could be something I could do to help them build a kind of confidence in who they are and what really matters in life, so that when they did go out into the real world, they would stand up for what's right and be themselves and not worry so much about what the crowd is doing. But I don't know if this is really something that I can do or if it's just something that maturity and God can do. Or if I'm trying to change something of their personalities that's never going to be changed. Or if keeping them at home would even help me to help them. Or if keeping them at home would keep them in their shells even more so that when they faced the real world they'd be even less equipped to deal.

And then there are my own issues. So many that I'm sure I won't name them all.

-I'm scared. I don't want my sweet children to experience bad things or be hurt in any way.

-I don't like change. We're doing school at home now and I like it, so I want to keep it that way rather than uprooting our life to start the whole going to school routine.

-I want control over what my kids are exposed to and who they are with.

-I'm intimidated by all of the issues that could come up with public school...from parent-teacher conferences to PTA fundraisers to my kids not doing well to dealing with a bunch of parents I don't know.

-I'm lazy. I don't want to rush around every morning getting everyone up and ready. We've had to wake our kids up in the morning maybe twice in their lives and it's awful!

-I'm selfish. As mentioned before, I don't want the best part of my children's days to be spent with someone else. I want to be the one to see them learn new things and hear all their ideas and know them best.

-I'm easily influenced. When I'm with homeschooling friends or family, I think that we should homeschool. When I'm with public school people, I think that is what we should do.

So (if you're still with me...this is really long I know) what have we decided? Well, interestingly, our decision has ended up being based on circumstances as opposed to the issues and questions above. Since we are hoping to move by the summer and we don't even know where we'll be or what school Joshua would go to AND since it's such a big change to start the whole going away to school thing, for the sake of efficiency (since our boys are one grade level apart), we think we've decided to homeschool for Joshua's kindergarten year, but be very open to both boys starting public school the following year. We'll probably change our minds a million times between now and 2012, but I feel pretty confident that we'll homeschool this coming school year.

Just to wrap things up, if you do have any insight to one or all of the issues I've written about, please share. I need lots of wisdom!

Here we go again...

Well soccer practice was going so well for both boys and even Julia was handling it really well...the whole one practice that we'd had. Julia was hanging out with me and even imitating me cheering for the kids, which was so cute. Gray was participating well and having fun. Joshua had lost the uncomfortableness he had at the beginning of the season last year and doesn't seem to have a crush on any of the girls (remember last season? I wrote about it here) and was running and kicking just like everyone else.

Then came practice #2. Matt recruited two of the other dads to assistant coach and tonight was their first night helping. When we got to the parking lot, the boys and Matt ran ahead to the field and Julia and took our time following behind.

When I got to the field I could already notice something different--Joshua was standing on the sidelines while the other kids were running around the field. I didn't think too much of it until the drills began. The kids were to form two lines and run and kick a goal when they got to the front of the line.

It's Joshua's turn and he's...not running, but shuffling. And cue those spaghetti arms from last season because they are limp at his side again. Great. Here we go again.

The rest of the practice was so frustrating as we watched our very athletic little boy who loved soccer last season (once he got used to it), not even run after the ball and in a scrimmage, when the ball came right to his feet, not even try to kick it. This is the boy who, in an interview (very professional, done by me!) in the off season, told the camera that he would be the star player and his favorite thing about playing soccer would be winning.

I don't know what to do. I want to make him loosen up and be confident, but my words don't seem to be getting through. And I understand how he feels because I don't like to be center stage either and never played sports because I didn't want to compete while people watched me. I guess you always want something better for your kids though. I want him to hurry up and get past something that took me at least till I was a teenager to cope with. I want him to see that this is 8 kids and their parents and so not a big deal!! But to him, it is. We prayed together tonight and I so want him to know and believe and see that God can help him when he's uncomfortable or afraid.

We have their first game Saturday and I don't know what will happen. It took several games last year for Joshua to warm up, so we'll see. Meanwhile, Gray is out there playing his little heart out, which is great. BUT since we put him with the older kids (some are 4 and some 5), he was having a hard time scoring goals (which he knows from watching Joshua last year is the highlight of playing) and told me, "Mommy I didn't score any goals. I try to score a goal every time but I didn't any times." I'm hoping that it will be a good challenge for him and he will learn a lot more than being with 3 year olds. I'm hoping that amidst many other kids who don't know what they are doing, he will somehow manage to get some goals--in spite of the fact that most kids are much bigger and some really do know what they are doing. In the meantime, I'm trying to encourage him about his hard work and about the team needing players to do lots of different things--not just score. He was really having fun out there and when Matt rounded everyone up at the end to discuss the team name, he was right in the forefront of the discussion. They were trying to come up with an animal that was gold colored and someone suggested dragon. Joshua told me afterwards that he thought lion (of course--Aslan) but he didn't speak up at all. Gray then suggested goldfish. Doesn't exactly inspire thoughts of power and athleticism, but I loved that he would suggest it to the group. In the end, they chose the Golden Dragons and Gray was happy about that too. I'm learning a lot about how he acts in a group already from this experience.

And what about Miss Julia? Well she did great for the first 5 minutes, then she proceeded to lay in the dirt and pitch multiple fits because she wanted to either throw her ball over to the playing field where kids were practicing or go "whing" (swing). She eventually became fascinated with the boys' water bottles and we were fine the rest of the time, but I'm not sure how the next few months of being at the field twice a week are going to go. It's an experience for sure!

Pretty in Pink

Love these wildflowers that bloom in our front yard every year. Was really hard to get good pictures of Julia because for some strange reason toddlers refuse to stand still and pose for pictures:) There were also cows out next door and Bubba the boxer was over to play with Pogo, so way too much going on to be bothered with pictures!

First Soccer Practice

The boys were super pumped about starting soccer Monday. Joshua was very glad to have Matt as his coach this year and Matt does a great job, though part of me wishes someone else would have stepped up so that the boys can get a little more experience learning from other adults. Anyway, it's a little crazy, even with only 7 kids, and it's very obvious at times that Gray is the baby of the group...such as when he interrupts Matt's instructions to show him the moon. But I think all had fun and I'm looking forward to seeing them in action on game day!

Ballerina Girl

Love this outfit my mom gave Julia. Had to follow her around with the camera!

"See dawg!" is what she's saying. That girl loves to see a dog and it drove her crazy that you could hear them all over my parents' neighborhood but not necessarily see them.

Party Party!

We had such a nice day yesterday celebrating Carly's and Gray's birthdays. We began with a trip to see some horses and the kids had a great time trying to feed them grass and wild onions. It took my boys a bit to warm up to them (no shocker there), but by the end, Gray did try to feed the little pony. Got some great pictures anyway.

The guys...never did get one of just the girls.

Gray having his own dance party in the hay.

Love this of the pony teeth.

Notice my boys standing back, hands folded. If only they took this approach in other areas of life...like playing toys.

Joshua finally got involved as a grass picker.

Julia loved Amanda right away.

Matt tries to kiss Snowflake the pony:)

Gray finally feeds Snowflake.

After that, we went to the park for a picnic, followed by more play time (and a chance for me to visit with my sister!) at my parents' house.

Fun on the playground!

Julia cautiously takes in this new environment.

She loves to swing!

My big boy in the baby swing.

That afternoon, we loved getting to see some of our extended family and having cake, ice cream, and presents!

Basketball cake, by request

Presents! Gray looks over his new books, with Joshua (gasp!) watching his every move.

Larry reads Dora to Gray...these two are always good buddies!

Lots of story time on the couch. We are definitely a family of bookworms!

Blowing out the candles...one child seems to have more wind than the other--or maybe it's the cheeks. Gray blew out Carly's candles first, then tackled his.

Julia finally let GrandGene hold her after a few days of "No!"

Now that's a cute boy!

Birthday people

Almost perfect day....I say almost because there was that moment that Gray declared he was going to the neighborhood park, my mom said not right then, he said he was going anyway, hopped on his motorcycle and zoomed down the hill before she could catch him. Think he made it all the way to the park alone and tried to run and play before my mom caught him and brought him home. Yep, that sweet boy I've been telling you about seems to be going through something like a rebellious teenager streak. When I asked him to help bring bags in the house today, he pointed at me with a big scowl on his face and shouted, "I TOLD you I was tired!" Uh, yikes. Time to nip this 'tude in the bud. How, I don't know, but I plan to give it my best shot and get my sweetie back!